A toxic relationship is any affair that dispossesses love, happiness, and peace of mind. An affair, which denies understanding while constant disagreement is always a common issue. The relationship could be anything of a family or friendship so long as there is a connecting factor between both parties.
Now, when it comes to any relationship, especially one that has to deal with a lifetime commitment. The partners involved need to seek happiness and contentment. They also have the right to walk out when it becomes stormy or choose to stay behind and calm it.
However, calming a stormy relationship can be a bit more challenging than easily walking out of it. This is due to the stress of trying to fix a toxic relationship, which can be overwhelming, as it demands patience.
One might decide to quit, but quitting may not be the best option, especially if you are already in a marital union. If you quit, you may not be able to tell how fortunate you will be in your next relationship. Therefore, in some situations trying to fix a toxic union might be the best option.
Table of Contents
How to fix a toxic relationship
You need patience
Patience is important when trying to deal with irritation but at the same time a virtue that may be very tasking. It needs understanding and a good deal of thoughtfulness. Now you need to tolerate your partner and that is the first step and hope that he or she will change. The best part of being patient is not giving up on someone so easily but trying to endure for a while. In the cause of your endurance try to read his manners.
Understand the root of the problem
People do not just act ordinarily. Some things compel people to behave the way they do in most situations. In the case of someone with toxic manners, you need to observe the fellow closely in other to ascertain the root of the problem. You need to start from the first day you meet her until the present moment.
Has she been behaving the same way from the initial day or did she suddenly develop a toxic habit? If the latter becomes the answer, then something must be the cause for her sudden change of behaviors. You need to examine yourself if you have changed your attitude towards her. Again, they might be something she needs from you but you are not willing to do.
Schedule a time to talk about it
You need to talk about it, you cannot keep silent but that may be after you have endured for a while. During your period of observing his mood and manners, you are also calculating the right time and occasion to talk it over. Research has it that couples who talk about problems during bedtime have a higher advantage of making positive life changes.
While those who discuss problems at any moment might end up in arguments. Do not choose breakfast, lunch, or dinnertime it might lead to a loss of appetite. Do not choose anytime that he or she is free it might lead to violence. Talk to him or her during bedtime. Say how much it hurts you to see him display those toxic behaviors.
Understand your partner’s weakness
Most people deal with an in-born toxic trait such that they display those manners ignorantly. In-born toxicity like sudden anger is an example of a person’s weakness. Personally, the victim is willing to give it up but unable to control it when it arose in him. Another toxic behavior is envy.
Having chosen the bedtime to sort issues out, watch your partner and observe the way he reacts. Did he show remorse or does he seem unconcerned about it? He might be suffering silently meaning that those ugly behaviors are not deliberate. He or she simply cannot help it, which means he or displays those traits unconsciously.
Start communicating effectively
Effective communication can turn things around among couples experiencing toxic manners. The more conversation you engage with your partner the more the tightness is loosening. Effective communication brings about friendliness and fondness. Therefore, rather than become hostile or show ugly manners your partner may become more welcoming.
Through conversation, you can communicate those habits to him and even seek to know what makes him display those manners. Communication is a heart-to-heart discussion, which can entertain any issue. Therefore, use those conversations as an opportunity to tell him more about his traits. You may be surprised how he will confide in you then you can advise him to refrain from them.
Be reconciling
Anyone can easily quit or discontinue a relationship at the slightest sign of toxicity. But how sure are you that the relationship might letter be in your favor if you choose the reverse? The best is to be reconciled, that is do not attempt to quit but have a positive attitude to receive an encouraging outcome
Do not bring up past issues
People with toxic behaviors can have many ugly pasts. Which mostly are not intentional as it could be a weakness they are trying to give up. You could help them give it up by not reminding them of those past behaviors. A visit to the past can awaken ugly memories that might increase toxicity.
Give room for a change
Each time you talk to him, give space for a change. Do not expect an immediate transformation in behavior but rather expect a gradual improvement. Again, each time you engage your partner in the discussion don’t always introduce his toxic manners as a major topic let one thing lead to another then chip in the issue. But do not often bring it up, you can do it occasionally.
Make suggestions than blame
Already you know his faults and weakness, the best you could do is try to help him get out of it. Do not accuse him or lay blames on him but rather suggest his actions. For instance, rather than say “you cause these damages with your ill manners” you would say “you should start doing things right to avoid damages.” The first statement can make him more aggressive to display toxic traits. While the second will only calm down his mood.
Find a therapist.
You can seek the help of a psychologist or a relationship therapist who specializes in love matters. The two partners are probably going into marriage or are about to move in at the time of having such behaviors. They can handle things if they have the experience to do so. But if the situation is beyond them, they can seek a counselor rather than quit.
